Comments on: I want the police to arrest my son who is a drug addict,and offer him mandatory rehab or jail. How to do it??

By: Paul K.

Paul K. — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:02:13 +0000

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By: pure_genius

pure_genius — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 11:05:59 +0000

First of all your options will vary greatly depending on what state you're in. I know your son's actions are driving you crazy, but the stain of a drug conviction will only hinder his recovery and healthy reentry into society. Also as other answerers have said it is not possible to have it guaranteed ahead of time that your son will be sent to treatment. Once he is arrested he is at mercy of the justice system. Hopefully, your state has civil commitment procedures. With the problems you describe, it should not be a problem. You will likely need the aid of mental health professional.
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By: wendy c

wendy c — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:26:59 +0000

I can guarantee that you won’t give me 10 pts for my answer, but here it is anyway.
Your son is 25 freaking years old, and you are STILL trying to manuever his consequences for illegal actions? And you wonder why this grown man CANNOT take responsibility for his actions? Frankly, what comes across in your message is like asking for a reservation at a legalized resort, on his behalf.
Your son has REFUSED voluntary treatment. And is endangering the safety of other persons, because he is not being reported. You want him stopped…but only if on your terms.
Asking for a particular sentence before someone has even been arrested, comes across as attempting to influence a judge. BAD thinking.
NO person..adult or otherwise, is going to be accountable for their conduct until they are forced to. If you were talking about mental illness, it might be different to arrange court ordered hospitalization. And, I have been that route, thank you.
I do NOT doubt that you love your son, and care about what happens. As long as you keep trying to arrange his life for him, I believe you are part of the problem.
The longer you delay.. the more someone else’s life is put at risk.
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By: Poetryofscreaming

Poetryofscreaming — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:15:59 +0000

"I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse. "- Brendan Behan

If you turn him in he will go to jail. The criminal justice system is not the answer to drug addiction. If he goes to jail he will most likely develop harder addictions, experience things that will scar him forever, and it will be that much harder to turn his life around with a drug conviction.

As a parent the most you can do is have an intervention…confront him with what his behavior is doing to the people who love him. If he doesn’t agree to go to rehab you have to break off contact with him and let him hit rock bottom by himself, but let him know that when he is ready to turn it around and can show that he can STAY sober you will let him back into your life. It’s hard but you can’t cure addiction by force. And whatever you do DON’T INVOLVE THE POLICE.

If he gets busted himself, however, inform him that you will not help him out financially with bail, lawyers, etc. Going to jail for a mistake he made will teach him more than being betrayed by his mother.
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By: fr_chuck

fr_chuck — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:54:59 +0000

Rehab is expensive and seldom paid for by the state, if he is using drugs, he would go to jail. The few that to into rehab instead have the money to pay for it, and the attorney to work out the deal.

You need to trun him in, jail or no jail, he will end up going off the drugs and get clean.

But thepolice arrest and put him in jail, it is not till the court date that any order or the such.

You just need to turn him in, and let him serve his time.
Remember if you don’t, when he wrecks his car and kills himself or perhaps a small child, you now hold part of the moral blame since you know you should turn him in and don’t
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By: fisherwoman

fisherwoman — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:11:59 +0000

Since he is an adult, you cannot cut a deal to get him into rehab, regardless of why the police pick him up, he will be spending at least one night in jail. If you want him to get caught, when you see he is driving, call the police, give his location and tell them what you observed. He has to commit a crime while driving for the officer to pull him over, for instance, they would be looking to locate a drunk driver. If he has a clean record, he'll only spend the night. One thing you must try to do, don't blame yourself, my son too had problems with drugs for a few years, he was into Meth, I thought I would die from heartbreak watching him fall apart. He finally took control after living under a freeway overpass for awhile, and no one would give him money to support his habit. He returned to me clean 3yrs ago, best mother's day ever. He is fantastic now, there is hope for your son as well, but until he decides he wants to change to save his own life, it won't happen. He hasn't hit bottom yet, not in his mind anyway. I wish you well sir, take care.
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By: thankyouno

thankyouno — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:37:59 +0000

You are helping him maintain this lifestyle if he is living with you.
The only thing you can do is call the police if you know he is driving under the influence or if he is doing drugs in your house. You have to call then and let them in. There is no guarantee of what his sentence will be. But after the second or third time if he hasn’t killed someone already or isn’t dead himself, you might get a harsher sentence. Which by then could be serious jail time.
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By: godged

godged — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:07:59 +0000

If your son is refusing rehab, he obviously does not want treatment. Any good treatment program provider will tell you that treatment only works if the person is ready, willing and able to accept it. If you attempt to force your son into treatment through some legal intervention, he will most likely resume his habits in short order.

Negative consequences for his actions (i. e. jail time) is just what this young man needs. If he ends up in jail, do not bail him out. This only reinforces the behavior by allowing him to continue making bad choices with no consequences. He needs accountability and consequences for his choices, or he will see no need to stop these self-destructive behaviors. Report him to the authorities and let the process begin. Certainly you will feel some guilt, drug and alcohol users are master manipulators and he will try to make you feel horrible for turning him in or not helping him out of the situation he created. It is not your fault, he made the choices and now he needs to be responsible.

I’m sorry that you are in this situation, but until he wants help, you are basically powerless to rectify this situation.
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Years of experience

By: fly guy

fly guy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:18:59 +0000

Go to your local magistrate and take out commitment papers on him for the drug use. The police will pick him up and take him to your local hospital. From there, he will be evaluated and placed in an appropriate facility.
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By: ms.behaven

ms.behaven — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:39:59 +0000

they will only arrest him but if you go before the judge at his conviction and express the need for treatment he may consider this as part of his sentencing and add it to the order but at his age they may think that your just a mother that wont allow their son to grow up
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