Saying “No” To AA
Why would anyone want to say “no” to AA or Alcoholics Anonymous, the world’s largest support group for “alcoholism addiction“? The biggest difference between Alcoholics Anonymous and non 12-step groups is that AA is a faith based program and the others aren’t. In a nutshell, if you don’t have a faith in God (or in a Higher Power), you may have difficulty working 12 step programs. Fortunately, some recovery methods have been developed which are not faith based. Why are there meetings other than Alcoholics Anonymous? Some people have real difficulties with the spirituality part of AA because they are atheists, agnostics or because they believe in a religious teaching which doesn’t mesh with AA’s program and the focus on a higher power. They don’t connect with the program. Alcoholics Anonymous is not for everybody, but it isn’t trying to be all things to all people. Perhaps the reason some people say no to the AA paradigm is the fact that they are discouraged and expected a program that could help them. You can say no to AA and look into non 12-step programs.
How do you measure whether a support group or meeting is a good one? Perhaps the biggest measure is whether the group helps you achieve your goals with the least amount of negative influences. When one leaves a meeting, he/she should feel that some piece of knowledge about his/her struggle was obtained. Insight was found. Almost every meeting should leave you feeling better than when you started the meeting. Say “no” to meetings that leave you feeling “down” or negative.
There are facts and opinions floating around the internet regarding the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous. Some say 5% or 1 in 20 recover through AA; another source says that only 5% of newcomers remain in AA after a year. Where are statistics for non 12-step organizations? Notice how no one is really providing adequate documentation and statistics? Why does it matter? Well, most people would not invest their time and energy in a program known for poor results. Think about it. When you investigate claims about a group or organization, find the truth by going to the information source. Don’t take anyone’s word for it. Just say no to AA or any group if it fails to meet your criteria or expectations.
At times, some AA groups get quite large and number over 100 people. When this happens, groups are split into smaller groups so everyone can take part. Most often, people come together in large numbers (100+) only for speaker meetings. Regardless of the meeting size, everyone wants to take their turn by saying what happened to them in the previous week. Almost always, the message of Alcoholics Anonymous is lost because these people demand to be heard, and talk about all their failures. These are the kind of meetings where saying no to attending AA makes sense. Walking away confused and irritated after a meeting is contrary to our reason for attending.
One group of about forty met in their AA meeting with many young people and a few old timers. In the group there were two individuals who should have been removed from the group. AA did not provide a framework for governing and dealing with these men. One man tried to be the sponsor of every teenage boy who came into the meeting. He molested one 15-year old boy and the group did nothing. Also, a man in his 20’s had been a sponsor for a few young teen females in an attempt to have sex with them (men aren’t supposed to sponsor women). In summary, the group became a “meat market” with the sole focus of “picking up” new members to AA. This kind of group may be more common than one believes and requires that the parents of teens go to meetings to safeguard their own children from predators. Just say no to attending this kind of dysfunctional Alcoholics Anonymous meeting – watch out for predators in any kind of meeting.
A small number of alternatives to Alcoholics Anonymous have arisen for various reasons. One helps the newcomer reduce his/her drinking to the point where it doesn’t cause them harm. Some are abstinence oriented such as AA while others focus on methods of reducing alcohol consumption. If you choose to continue drinking, even at a lower level, then AA will not be a good choice. Most of the non 12-step groups have cognitive behavioral therapy as a main treatment approach. Essentially, the non-AA programs show people another way to think, and that change in thinking results in changed behavior. Finding a non-AA group near you may be difficult because there aren’t many groups as compared to AA. Do you want to “work your program” over the phone by yourself because meetings are nonexistent where you live? Or drive an hour to a meeting or therapy? If it’s a good meeting, the effort to attend will be worth it. Check out your alternatives completely before closing the door to past programs.
If you have questions about responsible drinking in your family or concerned about excessive use of alcohol, please visit the following website: http://www.habitdoc.com/.
Part I